About
Bill Stewart is a nice man. Bill Stewart led WVU to a victory in the Fiesta Bowl. He won the Meineke Car Care Bowl with the help of one of the best quarterback/running back hybrids God ever put on this Earth. But Bill Stewart should not be coach of the West Virginia Mountaineers and last year’s disappointing season illustrates that point. And, yeah, West Virginia’s winning and maybe Stewart will be an awesome coach. But it’s still fun to poke fun and whether he stays or goes, we can make fun of other teams here. So, hey, we’ve got that going for us.
WANTED:
Smartass people who can write shitty articles about Mountaineer football or, really, any college football. And maybe a NFL game or two as well. Doesn’t really matter. Write whatever you want, I don’t care. Or, if you’re really creative, make an awesome photoshop of Greg Paulus and an Orange in the throes of passion. Submit your credentials to billstewartmustgo@gmail.com and become a contributor.
A Quick Biography of Bill Stewart (according to Dave Wannstedt):
Some facts are still in dispute, some gaps still remain and the final chapter of the Bill Stewart story is yet to be told. But this much we know for sure:
Bill Stewart was born in 1871 in Amish country. Around the turn of the century, Bill Stewart played at Fairmont State College, where he was a three-year letterman and team captain for the WVIAC champions.
Details are very sketchy but it is believed that Stewart was in Hiroshima, Japan on August 5, 1945 and Nagasaki, Japan on August 8, 1945; one day prior to the atomic bombing of each city. While Stewart strong denies any connection to the bombing, it seems very inplausible he did not have direct knowledge.
After being spotted on the grassy knoll in Dallas, Texas on November 22, 1963, Stewart went on a spirtual quest to India where he met the Dhali Lama and looked for the meaning of life. Stewart’s interest in Indian culture expanded to Hinduism. During a pilgrimage to Bombay, India with his wife, Stewart studied sitar, met several gurus and visited various holy places. In 1968, Stewart traveled to India to study meditation with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.
In 1971 Stewart joined Nixon’s 1972 campaign as a member of the Committee to Re-elect the President (CRP). At CRP, Stewart concocted several plots, some far-fetched, intended to embarrass the Democratic opposition. Stewart was the Nixon Administration liaison and leader of the group of five men who broke into the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee at the Watergate Complex with the intent to plant listening devices. Stewart was sentenced to a 20-year prison term and was ordered to pay $40,000 in fines for his role in Watergate. He began serving the sentence on January 30, 1973. On April 12, 1977, President Jimmy Carter commuted Stewart’s sentence to eight years, “in the interest of equity and fairness based on a comparison of Mr. Stewart’s sentence with those of all others convicted in Watergate related prosecutions”, leaving the fine in effect. Stewart was released on September 7, 1977 having served a total of four-and-a-half years of actual incarceration.
The 1980’s proved to be a time of renaissance for Stewart. In 1986, Stewart release the album True Blue. The album spawned three number-one singles on the Billboard Hot 100 charts: “Live to Tell”, “Papa Don’t Preach” and “Open Your Heart”, as well as other top-five singles “True Blue” and “La Isla Bonita”. By early 1989, Stewart had signed an endorsement deal with soft drink manufacturer Pepsi. He debuted his new song, “Like a Prayer” in a Pepsi commercial and also made a music video for it. The video featured many Catholic symbols such as stigmata and burning crosses. It suggested an interracial relationship between Stewart’s character and a black priest, hence it was condemned by the Vatican. Pepsi was unable to convince the public that their commercial was not inappropriate. They revoked the commercial and cancelled their sponsorship contract with Stewart.
After wandering around a few years, Stewart finally landed back in football. In 1994, he assumed the head coaching position at Virginia Military Institute. Stewart was 8 -25 over three seasons. Stewart was the 26th head college football coach for the Virginia Military Institute Keydets located in Lexington, Virginia and he held that position for three seasons, from 1994 until 1996. His career coaching record at VMI was 8 wins and 25 losses. This ranks him 15th at VMI in total wins and 24th at VMI in winning percentage.
And now he’s at West Virginia. And we just lost to South Florida. Is there really anymore that needs to be said?
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