Bill Stewart Must Go (dot) COM

No play Big Ben.  Ben no play Ravens.  Big Ben concussed.

Fearing further brain trauma (HA!) for Ben Roethlisberger, it has been reported that he will not play against Baltimore on Sunday.  And with Charlie Batch out, this makes Dennis Dixon the starting QB for the Steelers against their AFC North rivals.  Even worse for the Steelers, the 2nd quarterback will be former Pitt QB Tyler “Douche” Palko.  Palko will be signed from the practice squad and Roethlisberger will be listed as the 3rd quarterback.

Between his motorcycle accident and the concussions he’s suffering on the field, it’s only a matter of time before Roethlisberger becomes the next Troy Aikman.  Or, worse yet, Joe Buck.

“Big Ben like football.  Look at man run with football.  Man do things with ball.”  What a broadcasting career he will have…

At least he has an endorsement deal

In one of the more nauseating stories of the day, it looks like Tyler Palko is going to be back in Pittsburgh.  But this time with the Steelers.  Since Charlie Batch somehow figured out how to break his wrist in the 30 seconds he played Sunday, the Steelers are going to move him down to injured reserve and make Dennis Dixon the #2 quarterback on the roster.  And it looks like they’re only going to have 2 on the active roster for the time being but had to sign another quarterback so they signed Tyler “Douchebag” Palko. 

Palko most recently played for the CFL’s Montreal Alouettes, which seems like the appropriate place for him to stay.  But, no, he’s coming back to Pittsburgh for a team I actually like.  Lord help us all if he actually makes it out on the field.

At least he has an endorsement deal

Call it a Super Bowl hangover.  Call it luck.  You can call it whatever you want but Pittsburgh got beat Sunday by one of the worst teams in the NFL.  And their quarterback got concussed in the process.

Almost 400 yards passing from Roethlisberger couldn’t overcome the Steelers 3 turnovers.  Another kickoff return for a touchdown and an interception that was nearly another touchdown made this game go to overtime.  The Steeler defense played well enough to win, holding the Cheifs to 282 yards while the Steelers offense gained 515.  But special teams and turnovers doomed the Steelers this week again, just like the Cincinnati game.  And while the Steeler defense was decent, it’s not the same without Polamalu playing.

The Steelers are now 6-4 and travel to Baltimore in what must be considered a “must-win” game.  They are still only a game behind Cincinnati but the Bengals hold any tie-breaker between the two teams.  The Steelers are also in a good position to grab a wildcard but they must win some games and stop turning the ball over.  And let’s try to get something going on special teams.  I know a good special teams coach down in West Virginia…

When you lose 5 out of your last 6 games, it’s hard not to want to cry. And, if you’re Jets coach Rex Ryan, you got ahead an cry in front of your team.  Ryan apparently broke down during a morning meeting with his team while discussing the teams problems.  And those problems are plenty:  After starting the season 3-0, the Jets currently sit at 4-5 and play the Patriots on Sunday.  If, by some miracle, the Jets win, they could pull within a game of New England in the AFC East.

As for the waterworks, Ryan said, “Sometimes you say things to your team and you don’t realize that everybody will find out and that’s fine and dandy. One thing I’ll say is, I’ll be true to myself. I’m always going to be, and I said that from day one. If I don’t fit the stereotype of coach speak or anything else, so be it. I’m going to always be myself.  I’m man enough to be me. It was more passion than anything else. If it comes out, it comes out.” …

I guess the only question left is whether Ryan will be crying again this weekend after New England takes out its frustrations for a Week 2 loss against the Jets and the 35-34 debacle Sunday night against the Colts.  I don’t think the Patriots are going to stop even if Ryan cries “uncle.”

In a move that shocked almost no one, the Buffalo Bills fired head coach Dick Jauron after a 3-6 start and running one of the worst offenses in the NFL.  Jauron was 24-33 since being hired by former general manager Marv Levy in 2006 to be head coach. He has two years remaining on his contract that will pay him a total of $6 million in 2009 and 2010.

“I like Dick,” said one fan.  “I’ve always liked Dick.  But sometimes Dick doesn’t give you all that you need.  You want him to get it up in there and it falls flat.  I’d like to try something other than Dick for a little while I guess.”

Jauron becomes the first NFL coach to be fired this season and first Bills coach to be fired midseason since Hank Bullough was fired nine games into the 1986 season and replaced by Levy.

Tennessee Titans’ owner Bud Adams let’s the people of Buffalo know what he thinks of their team:

In one of the most shocking games of the NFL season, Bill Belichick made a curious decision to go for a 4th-and-2 from his own 28-yard line.  After Kevin Faulk bobbled the ball and came up half a yard short of a first down, Peyton Manning easily moved the 30 yards down the field for a winning touchdown.  An interesting exchange with reporters occurred after the game:

PRESS:  Did you make the decision to go for the fourth down play?

BELICHICK:  It’s hard to say.

PRESS:  Did you make the call?

BELICHICK:  I’m not giong to answer that.

PRESS:  We just want answers.

BELICHICK:  You want answers?

PRESS:  I think I’m entitled.

BELICHICK:  You want answers?

PRESS:  I want the truth!

BELICHICK:  You can’t handle the truth!  Son, we live in a world that has quarterbacks and those quarterbacks need to be guarded by men who block. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Long Duk Dong? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Peyton Manning and curse the Patriots; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that our loss, while tragic, probably increased ratings and that is my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, increases ratings.  You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties you want me on that sideline, you need me on that sideline. We use words like offense, defense and special teams. We use them as the backbone of a football team trying to win a game. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the playcalling I provide and then questions the manner in which I call it. I would rather you just said “thank you,” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up some pads and play the game. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

PRESS:  Did you order the fourth down call?

BELICHICK:  I did the job I had to do.

PRESS:  Did you order the fourth down call?

BELICHICK:  You’re God damn right, I didn’t.  Bill Stewart did.

One sweep since 1991. That’s what the Bengals had against the Steelers coming into today’s game in Pittsburgh. During that course of times, the Steelers sweeped the series 10 times.  That is the futility of the Bengals, aka “The Bungles.”  But now make it 2 sweeps since ‘91.  The Bengals have figured out a way to win football games.  They’ve swept the Ravens and now the Steelers and it’s very unlikely that they won’t sweep the Browns.  The Bengals are likely to win the AFC North.  It’s really kinda shocking when you think about it.  Cincinnati with Ochocinco just swept the Steelers.  How very depressing.

Carson Palmer models his favorite underwear

Jamal Lewis, running back for the Cleveland Browns, has said that head coach Eric Mangina is over working Browns players.  Actually, Jamal Lews said this:

“This is his show, not mine.  You got to take care of your crop. If you don’t, when it comes time to harvest, you’re not going to make no money because the crop is no good. That’s that.”

When asked about the comments, Mangina corrected Lewis and the media.  “You’re misinterpreting what Jamal is talking about,” said Mangina.  “He’s talking about my orange crop.  I’ve been growing oranges and he’s concerned that I’m not taking proper care of the crop.  That’s all he means.  This has nothing to do with the Browns.  We’re a solid 1-7.  Things look awesome.  Remember when we beat the Bills?”

“I don’t know what the f*ck he’s talking about,” said Lewis when told of Mangina’s orange crop comment.  “Why the hell would I care about some damn oranges.  I’m talking about practice.  Not the orange, not the orange, not oranges but we’re talking about practice.  Not the oranges that provide me Vitamin C which allow me to play every game like it might be my last.  We’re talking about practice, man.  How silly is that?”

I'm not the f*@$in Syracuse Orange and I sure as hell ain't part of the Magina orange crop. You all should suck my juice.

Dustin Reader got the NFL team’s stripes and “B” insignia cut into his hair as a tribute to the team’s good season.  And he was promptly suspended from his Hamilton school.

“It’s not so much the haircut,” said the school’s principal.  “It’s the fact that he has a big “B” cut into his hair in support of the Bengals.  The Cincinnati Bengals.  He’s got to be retarded and we think he should be in a special school.  No normal person would ever cheer for the Bengals.  And only someone with special needs would have a “B” cut into his hair to show everyone he supports the Bengals.”

When Reader’s teacher was asked about the suspension, she said, “Dustin’s a good enough kid but this borders on insane.  I know a few of the other kids in the class like the Bengals a little but they keep it secret like a normal person would do.  No one would ever publicly support the Bengals.  The only time I see anyone supporting the Bengals is when they’re passing out those Ochocinco-flavored condoms.  Other than that, no Bengals here.”

“We’re just not sure what we’re going to do yet,” said the principal.  “I guess we can take him back but only if he promises to get off this Bengals thing.  When we talked about it, he said he might support the Browns next.  He’s going down the slippery slope.  I’m not sure there’s a place for him at this school.”