Bill Stewart Must Go (dot) COM

I was watching the Michigan State / Gonzaga matchup come down to the wire last night and as soon as the game ended, I noticed my ears were bleeding. It took me a few minutes to figure out what happened and then it hit me: the piercing voice of Dick Vitale calling the Kansas / Memphis game had caused my ears to reject my body and attempt to escape.  How can you blame them?  Dick Vitale and his annoying voice and cliches.  Yes, I was wishing my ears well in their run from the television.

Vitale is just impossible to listen to.  I’d rather watch a game on mute rather than be subjected to his “diaper dandies” and “PTPers.”  I’m not saying he doesn’t have valid points from time to time but he is simply a caricature of himself, much like Chris Berman.  His announcing doesn’t evolve as he stands by the sayings which gathered him a following.  It’s quite annoying to me.  And don’t even get me started on his constant lobbying on behalf of the ACC.  I believe Dick Vitale should be relegated to calling only Duke games from this point forward.  I wouldn’t watch them anyway so it works for me.  Until then, I’m glad I have a mute button.

From Deadspin.com:

I feel the exact same way, man.

Okay…it took me awhile to get used to the whole college football on Thursday night thing.  But now I like it and there are great games that occur on Thursday nights.  And now the NFL even has a Thursday game after college season is over (but it’s on NFL Network, which I don’t get).  Friday night college football leaves a lot to be desired but it’s usually a decent game.  But Tuesday night?  No.  Wednesday night.  Double-no.

First of all, it’s Buffalo and Ohio last night.  Yeah, I understand both programs need exposure but, geesh, Buffalo and Ohio?  There’s no crowd.  And pretty much no football.  And it was actually a close game but it was still as boring as anything could possibly be.  And tonight we get Toledo and Central Michigan.  Pardon me if I’m not all that enthused.

I know people still bash the Big East for playing on Thursday and Friday nights but at least the crowds are out for those games and there’s a real game atmosphere.  These currently Tuesday and Wednesday night games are duds.  Of course I’m still watching them…so, maybe they’re not so bad afterall.

Its been a long time running but it time I let the world know. Jesse Palmer loves pancakes! Yes its true so much he keeps them in his pockets even when on live television. But this leads me to wonder, how does a man who keeps pancakes in his pockets stay in such good shape, BOOM it hit me. Jesse Palmer’s penis is in the shape of a pancake!!! You better believe it America and all Jesse Palmer fans! A pancake, duck bill, oven mitt or however you want to put it is in that mans pants! Evidence:

Would you like syrup on those?

Taco Bell discussing the benefits of eating black taco on TV is acceptable.  ESPN Analyst Bob Griese saying that NASCAR’s Juan Pablo Montoya was eating taco is not appropriate. 

Griese has been suspended from the network this weekend because he made what could be considered a racially insensitive remark during the Ohio State – Minnesota Game.  During the game, ESPN did a promo for the Sprint Cup race on ABC. The promo mentioned the top five drivers and Chris Spielman asked where Montoya was in the standings. Griese responded that Montoya “was out having a taco.” 

Yes, Griese probably thought Montoya was Mexican and the taco remark was funny because Montoya would be eating Mexican food.  Actually, Montoya is Columbian but who really cares?  Griese realized he screwed the pooch and apologized later in the broadcast and, on Sunday, Montoya was asked about the comment and he obviously didn’t care one bit.  But ESPN cares.  And they’ve turned this into a big story because, well, everything at ESPN is big.  This is just really stupid and takes political correctness to the Nth level.  If Griese had insinuated that Montoya wasn’t in the picture because he got deported or because he didn’t make it back across the fence or something of that nature, I can see where there’d be an issue.  But just saying Montoya is eating a taco shouldn’t rise to the level of capital offense.  If I have to deal with black taco, ESPN can deal with a little Griese taco.

Oh, I completely misunderstood those commercials...

Okay.  Maybe West Virginia isn’t killing opponents.  Maybe we just squeaked by UConn and didn’t necessarily blast Marshall out of the water.  But the St. Petersburg Bowl or the International Bowl?  Is that really all you think of the Mountaineers?  We can’t even get a little Car Care lovin?  I don’t want to play some C-USA team in St. Petersburg and I’ll be damned if I’m going to Toronto in January. 

The new BCS poll came out and Cincinnati has to feel like the most unloved orphan ever.  The Bearcats destroyed Louisville just to be dropped to #8 from the previous week’s #5.  A victory never tasted so badly.  At least Boise State fell to 7th behind TCU for the automatic non-BCS qualifying spot.  There’s no way BSU can bypass TCU because Boise’s schedule from this point forward is, well, not challenging.  The only way the Broncos make it to a BCS bowl is if TCU blows one down the stretch.

Pitt sits at #15 in the latest BCS poll :/

Feel my 'stache, baby.

Really?  ESPN College GameDay in Provo, Utah for a game between non-BCS automatically qualifying schools?  Not that I am against GameDay being in Provo for the BYU/TCU matchup as much as I am against College GameDay never coming to Morgantown, West ‘By God’ Virginia for some reason.  West Virginia has played plenty of big games in Morgantown since the invention of College GameDay.  But for some reason Lee, Kirk, Chris and Howard won’t make the pilgramage to the Mountaineer mecca.  Ohio State has hosted 12 College GameDays, Florida – 10, Michigan – 9.  But for some reason they can’t make the trip to Morgantown.

Perhaps Corso is afraid to come to Morgantown, WV.  Corso has never been kind to the Mountaineers and West Virginia has always returned the favor.

Kirk Herbstreit always lists Morgantown as one of the Top Five locations he’d like to see College GameDay visit that they have not yet visited and yet WVU still receives no love.  And they’re not going to receive any this year either.  But the fans should be demanding that College GameDay get to Morgantown so Mountaineer fans can show Lee Corso what a GameDay really should be like.

A Penis, Indeed